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The Raven Rewrite: Stanzas 1-5

<b>This is a little project I thought may be fun. Rewrite the Raven in a story(ish) form. Tell me what you think, any comment is more than welcome! More to come. </b>

I must have been sleeping. Not quite asleep, perhaps. I can recall that miserable, dank night in December oh too well. I sat quietly in my chamber, thinking myself to sleep.

<i>Lenore, Lenore. </i>

Her face haunted my mind. She was beautiful, radiant…One of a kind. The angels must have envied her.

<i>My lost love. Lenore. </i>

It was then I heard a light knock at my door.

<i>A visitor at this hour? Odd.</i>

Light gusts of wind began blowing through each slightly ajar window, disturbing the eerie peace of my purple curtains. The cool air surrounded me, making my heart leap in my chest.

<i>A visitor. Nothing else.</i>

I got up and strode across the room, still trying to reason with myself who this uninvited midnight guest may be.

“Excuse me, dear guest. Please forgive me for not coming quicker,” I said while unlocking my chamber door. “I was sleeping when you knocked. It was so slight, I could not hear through my dreams.” I opened the door swiftly so I would not keep my company waiting at the door, but there was nothing looking back at me except for darkness. The breath of night blew straight through my body, chilling my spine and every other bone within me.

“Lenore?” I muttered her name under my breath so as not to be heard.

“Lenore…” A faint echo returned my cry as I stood in the doorway. That was all I heard, no second call followed the first.

(Edited 7 months ago by Sam)

There are no problems, only challenges.

-Press Tilton

Replies
7 months

Like I said before, I really like this. The words are used so delicately, I am almost afraid to read it aloud, like I might break something. :-) Write more if you can!

“Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign LORD rescues us from death.”
Psalm 68:20

Bella [P]
7 months

Very cool idea! And it’s turning out beautifully!

Tell me no more stories. No, don’t tell me no lies. No one wants to hurt me, but everybody tries.

7 months

Personally, I don’t think you should touch Poe, Shakespeare, Tennyson, Milton, etc. Their works are pretty much flawless in the first place, and anything you do always turns out sounding worse.

But, do what you will. I do like what you’ve written so far.

“Parde ke girte hii parde ke uTHte hii
badlaa nahii.n jo badal sakta hai
yeh ki kachchaa nahii.n kuchh bhii pakka nahii.n
kuchh bhii hota hai jo kuchh bhii sab khel hai” – Koi… Mil Gaya

7 months

I think you did a good job for “transposing” Poe. :)

“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”—Rabelais

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